The Garage Sale, The Purse, and The Conflict

Pride is an ugly thing and it spews out of me from time to time. Pride is the ugly result of me building my life around my needs and wants. Pride makes us do stupid things in the name of vanity. Pride feels no outward shame or pain and will go to great lengths to be noticed. Pride screams “Look at me!! Look at me!! ” Do you see me?” “Notice me!” Notice me!”

Pride feels no cold in the winter or heat in the summer. It is what allows people to not wear coats in the winter so they can be noticed and dress in barely nothing in the summer. In my case pride resulted from a $10 purchase at a garage sale.

Last year I bought a used Coach purse for $10 at a garage sale. I had never owned a Coach purse before yet alone expected to find one at garage sale in the country. The sale owner wanted $25 for the purse originally. However I could not justify spending $25 on myself. The purse had a tiny wire poking out of the bottom of the purse and I used this as negotiating tool to have the price reduced to $10!! I was so ecstatic! I couldn’t wait to get home and transfer all my stuff into it!! My husband was able to clip the tiny wire hanging out of the purse and maneuver it back in. It looked like a million bucks! You absolutely could not tell anything was ever wrong with it!

The instant I transferred my stuff to my new purse and swung it over my shoulder something in me changed. It was my Eve biting into the fruit moment! I started this cycle of acting ridiculous in regards to this purse! Here is a list of some of my ridiculousness:

  • I had to set the purse down just right so I wouldn’t scratch the leather on the bottom. This included everywhere I went, in the car, at church, in the house. It was EXHAUSTING!!
  • Daily I would wipe down the leather on the purse so it would shine.
  • I would check it frequently for dirt and oil stains.
  • I would instantly stand a little taller and straighter with it on my shoulder.
  • I would wonder if other people noticed it.
  • I would notice other people who had Coach purses. This purse was constantly on my brain.
  • I would dream about it at night. I know I’m pathetic, right?
  • I felt guilty bringing it to church. I knew my obsession with this purse was not normal.

I began to talk to God about this in my prayer time. I told Him how out of control I was and asked  Him if I should get rid of it. Weeks and weeks began to go by and my flesh was still waging against my spirit.  Why should I get rid of it, it’s just a purse I would reason with myself. My my spirit knew it was MORE. I had made it an idol, and had my thoughts and actions consumed by it. Not to mention my pride. I was proud about it. Sick. I know after all it’s just a purse. Still more and more weeks continued to go by and I was still struggling with guilt and anguish, and doing all my ridiculousness with the purse, and crying out to God for help.

Finally I decided to get rid of the purse. Actually, I shouldn’t say finally because God had been trying to tell me that all along. I knew it in my spirit and that’s why I had this inner struggle about it. I didn’t want God’s answer and will, I wanted my own. That’s Pride and I was guilty of it.

But it doesn’t stop there. You would think that once I decided to get rid of the purse all of my problems would be solved, right? Wrong! There is a big difference between deciding to do something in your mind and then physically going through with it. I knew I was going to get rid of it but I was taking my time about it. I was lingering in my sin, not sure if I really wanted to give it up. I was like a drug addict clinging to drugs, except it wasn’t drugs it was my Coach purse.  Everyday I would wake up and think to myself today is the day I’m going to get rid of the purse. only to sit in the living room and stare at it, and continue to use it. Days kept going by and still I had the purse. This was creating major chaos inside of me. Finally, I decided enough is enough. I emptied out the entire contents of the purse, put it in a box and mailed it to my mother-in-law.

It was amazing as soon as it left my hands I felt free. Free not to think about it, free not to dream about it, free not to waste countless minutes grooming it—Free!

Wouldn’t you know it after a few months my mother-in-law gave it back to me. It was like the devil was mocking me as she handed me back the purse. As soon as I had it in my hands my mind began to fixate on it again. I knew I had to get rid of it fast–like a hot potato, before it destroyed me, and consumed me again!! So I quickly gave it to my sister and haven’t looked back since.

Isn’t it amazing what pride can do to you? Feel free to share your own struggles with pride below.

Scriptures to meditate on:

Galatians 5:16 – [This] I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh

Galatians 5:17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.

Romans 7:23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.

Romans 8:5 – For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.

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Washing Them With The Word of God

Something that I’m passionate about at my house is making sure no matter how crazy the day gets is that we take time to slow down and focus on God’s Word. One way of doing this is memorizing scripture together. The kids and I are currently working on Matthew 5, and Romans 6. Now we haven’t always tried memorizing big portions of scripture sometimes it has been just a single verse that speaks to me about what is going on in our house currently. For instance Memorizing Psalm 34:17 “In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me” during times when we fear man’s disapproval and correction over Gods.

There is really no easy way to help your kids memorize scripture. It takes endurance to follow through with it when you are tired of doing it and it seems like nobody is remembering anything, diligence to persevere when the day has just gone really bad and you are both physically and emotionally drained from it , and lots and lots of repetition.

As you memorize and meditate on Scripture with your children, you will be demonstrating your love for God, teaching them to be His friend, and to know His love. Most of all, Christ will reveal Himself to you and your children.

Scriptures to meditate on:

James 1:21  Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.

Psalm 119:11 Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.

2 Timothy 3:16  All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

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Surviving The Storm

Let’s face it sometimes the trials in life can be hard, and I mean REALLY HARD, like cover your head under  your pillow and sleep an hour more, and not wear any makeup all day HARD. My storm is currently dealing with multiple ages of children and the fun stuff that goes along with it. I have a newborn, a very curious 15 month old who is getting molars in, a three year old who keeps having temper tantrums, a seven year old who shrieks away from chores, a ten year old who is struggling with responsibility, a twelve year old whose hormones and moods are through the roof, a seventeen year old whose is trying to figure out his place in the world, and a 21 year old who is seeing life for the first time on her own. If that’s not a enough to make your head spin I also homeschool them all except the oldest she is being life schooled right now lol!

I’m being real here there are times when the baby, the one year old and the toddler are all crying and the older four are all arguing at once. I instantly get overwhelmed and panic!!!. I mean who in their right mind would no where to begin to fix this mess. My first thought is to google Michelle Duggars cell phone number and see if she can walk me through the correct way of handling this but I would probably disappoint her cause  i’m just a tad bit more boisterous than she is so instead I do damage control as best as I can. I’m not perfect and it isn’t always pretty but I some how manage to survive the storm but not without Gods help!!

It’s times like this when I”m feeling overwhelmed and pushed to limit that I make it a priority to cry out to the Lord for help. This typically involves me sneaking off to the bathroom for a moment alone and crying out to God that I am overwhelmed, and need His help to handle this situation. I talk to God alone until I feel I have no more to say, no more to be honest with him about. This time often involves me asking for his forgiveness for yelling at the kids, and asking for His grace and mercy to help me humble myself yet again, take a deep breathe and have the strength and energy to go back out there and try again …sometimes for the millionth time of the day if its been a bad one…and to show the love, forgiveness, and mercy He is always so quick to give me back to my children.

I encourage you today to cry out

Memory Verses to Meditate on:

Psalm 50:15 And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.

Jeremiah 33:3  Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.

Psalm 34:17  The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.

 


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